I have often said that dealing with IF and recurrent pregnancy loss feels like a rollercoaster. I always thought like a pretty good analogy. Then, last week, I saw some kids playing on a merry go round. They would slow down and then all of the sudden, one or two of the kids would jump off and push it around really fast. And then it would slow down and just when it was going to stop, one of the kids would spin it again. The merry go round just kept going in circles. There was no way to tell when it was going to come to a full stop. With a roller coaster, the ride goes up, hits a really exciting (or terrifying) high point and then descends to a super low point and maybe it goes up again and then down and then it comes slowly to a stop. You can see the stopping point ahead of time.
Right now, I feel like I am on a merry go round rather than a roller coaster. And I hate merry go rounds. They make me feel sick and they give me headaches. There are no high points, there is no end in sight. That is exactly how my IF feels. I just go around in circles and when I think the merry go round is slowing down, someone comes by and gives it a big fast spin.