Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Yes, I'm a working mom...sorrynotsorry

I've heard the comments and questions directly and indirectly. How could you pay someone else to raise your child? Don't you feel guilty going back to work and missing all of this time with your daughter? I just don't know how working moms do it, etc.

Our daughter is 8 months old. I had the luxury and privilege of staying home with her full-time for her first 3 months. Was it long enough for me; no. But, it was more time than some people get to have, so I was grateful for it and I needed to go back to work. Not that anyone else needs anymore explanation than that, but my husband and I decided together. It wasn't a decision we made lightly. No decision we have ever made in regard to starting our family or parenting our child has been made lightly. Going back to work was hard on me. I cried frequently for the first 6 months, especially on Monday mornings when I dropped Mira off at daycare after getting to spend all weekend with her. I felt guilty like I was doing some huge injustice to our daughter by not being the one who spent 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with her. That is how I made myself feel and that is how I let some other people make me feel.

But over the last few months, I have realized I am doing no injustice to our daughter. She is a thriving, crawling, standing, laughing, developing right on track, little ball of happy-as-can-be 8 month old in spite of being at daycare without me (gasp) during the day. Trust me, it's harder on me than on her, lol. Her dad and I both work full-time day jobs. That means we are both with her in the late afternoons and nights, and all weekend. Our time together is quality time and we make the most of it. Neither one of us is any more or less of a parent than the other one, or any more or less a parent who stays home full-time, or travels with their job and is gone frequently, or works nights and weekends, or works 2 jobs. I believe that every good parent is doing the best they can, and providing for their child in the way they need to. I think as good parents, whatever we decide to do is probably a hard decision that we constantly question, so we don't need other people questioning it for us or putting their two cents in (unless asked, of course).

Yes, Mira is in daycare during the day. And as my mom pointed out to me (thank you mom), this is her routine and she is adjusted to it. This is her normal. Mira loves Miss Lori and the other kids at daycare with her. She even has a best little friend, P, who is the same age. Those two light up around each other. When I drop her off in the mornings, I am not just leaving her with a stranger. I am leaving her with a woman who we trust. I am leaving her with a woman who loves her, cares for her, teaches her, spends time with her, and yes, even helps raise her. I would get so offended when I would hear people say that working parents pay other people to raise their children. But the truth is that we do pay someone else to help us raise our daughter. And there are also people that we don't pay who help us raise our daughter. What is so wrong with that? Have you ever heard the saying, "It takes a village to raise a child"? Well, there is some truth to it. It really does take a village. A village of family, friends, and for us, our daycare provider. Miss Lori, thank you for being our daycare provider and for loving and caring for our daughter as part of our village.

Yes, I'm a working mom...sorrynotsorry.

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